


Future Yesterday

by ladymac111



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hollywood, CBS cares, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, M/M, Performance in a Leading Role, The Late Late Show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 16:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/787850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymac111/pseuds/ladymac111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Actor!)Sherlock is a guest on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.</p>
<p>
  <i></i><br/>It's hard to stay up,<br/>It's been a long, long day,<br/>And you got the sandman at the door.<br/>But hang on, leave the TV on,<br/>And let's do it anyway!<br/>It's ok!<br/>You can always sleep through work tomorrow, OK?<br/>Hey hey!<br/>Tomorrow's just your future yesterday.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Future Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mad_Lori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Lori/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Performance In a Leading Role](https://archiveofourown.org/works/225563) by [Mad_Lori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Lori/pseuds/Mad_Lori). 



> I pitched this idea to Lori a little while ago, but she seemed reluctant so I figured I'd give it a shot myself.
> 
> Rating for suggestive dialogue and a bit of language.
> 
> For people unfamiliar with The Late Late Show:
> 
> The things that Craig does on the show change over time. This takes place in spring of 2011, soon after John's Oscar win. I haven't tried very hard to match this to what Craig was doing on the show at the time, so it's a mix of the bits I like from the last couple of years.
> 
> Geoff Peterson is a robot skeleton who was built for Craig by Grant Imahara of Mythbusters, and has developed a personality over the years. Geoff and Craig do a lot of banter, mostly off-colour jokes (Geoff is gay, to the extent that a robot can be), and they complain about CBS and how crappy their show is.)
> 
> When people swear (too much), they get "bleeped" with an exclamation in a foreign language and the corresponding flag over their mouth.

[Transcript of _The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson_.]

Craig: My next guest is an Academy Award-winning actor, though he's more famous right now for being gay.

Geoff: You can be famous for that?

Craig: I think you have to be actually famous first.

Geoff: Drat.

[Audience laughs.]

Craig: Here's the big gay thing he did recently that everyone's talking about, look at this.

[A clip from the Oscars plays, showing John's win and Sherlock hugging and kissing him, and then cutting to John thanking Sherlock and showing Sherlock getting emotional.]

Craig: Sherlock Holmes, everybody!

[Sherlock comes out to wild screaming from the audience. He waves awkwardly before sitting next to Craig.]

Craig: I think Geoff wants to say hi to you.

Sherlock: Geoff?

Craig: [Pointing. Sherlock turns to look.] My robot, Geoff Peterson. He fancies you.

Geoff: [Waving.] Heyyyyy!

Sherlock: Did he fancy me before I came out?

Geoff: You bet your sweet ass!

Craig: Don't mind him, he doesn't get out much. He's plugged into the wall, actually; he never leaves that podium.

Geoff: You don't have to rub it in.

Craig: [Tears up note cards.] Anyway, enough about my appliance.

Sherlock: And enough about Geoff, too.

Craig: Hey! [Audience laughs.] That was really good! So how are you? You look good.

Sherlock: Thank you, I'm well. Rather less busy than my other half at the moment.

Craig: Right, this year's Oscar winner! He's on all the _actual_ late-night shows, isn't he?

Sherlock: Yes, the ones where you're not allowed to swear, and the daytime ones too. He's been really milking his win these past couple of weeks.

Craig: I bet it's annoying.

Sherlock: He's absolutely _[ooh la la!]_ insufferable.

Craig: [Laughing.] Oh, they had to bleep you there!

Sherlock: Wait, I can't say _[ooh la la!]_?

Craig: No, there might be insomniac children or something. [To the camera:] CBS cares.

[Audience laughs]

Sherlock: Anyway, I understand you couldn't get John so you had to settle for me.

Craig: You know you've hit rock bottom when my show asks you to come on.

Sherlock: What do I do after?

Craig: [Leans in seriously.] Coke and cheap hookers.

[Audience laughs.]

Sherlock: No, John won't let me. The cocaine, anyway. We haven't talked about hookers.

Craig: That seems like a pretty major oversight in a serious relationship.

Sherlock: I'll have to bring it up when I get home. We've had a lot of other things on our minds recently. I'm sure everyone's heard by now that we're engaged.

[The audience cheers.]

Craig: Congratulations on that! And as a married man, let me give you some advice.

Sherlock: Yes?

Craig: Make sure you have that talk about the hookers _before_ you get hitched.

[Laughter.]

Craig: So what's next for you? Have any projects coming up?

Sherlock: I do, actually. I've signed on to do an HBO miniseries about Nikola Tesla.

Craig: Tesla was famously celibate.

Sherlock: He was.

Craig: It is HBO, though. They can't do a show without sex. Are you going to do a sort of sexy Tesla angle?

Sherlock: That would be the obvious thing to do, wouldn't it?

Craig: Could you give us a little preview? I think we can get some sexy music for you.

[The music starts, and Sherlock smooths his hair back and shifts into character.]

Sherlock: Hello, I'm Nikola Tesla, the world's greatest and sexiest inventor, and I've built a machine that will melt your clothes right off. [He shifts back to himself as the audience screams.] Was that good?

Craig: [Laughing.] Look behind you, Geoff is getting really excited again.

Geoff: Let's do some inventing together!

Sherlock: I think there could be a spark between us.

Craig: Oh!

[The sexy music starts again, the audience goes crazy, and Sherlock half-rises and takes a bow. Geoff's arm has frozen mid-wave and his jaw is open, but his eyes are dark.]

Craig: That was well-done! And look, you've got Geoff to shut up.

Sherlock: Actually I think he's broken. Is his mouth supposed to stay open like that?

Craig: You know, I think you're right. Do you think Tesla could have a look and fix him?

Sherlock: I'm going to be in so much trouble when I get home.

Craig: John's the jealous type, then? Doesn't like you flirting with strange robot skeletons?

Sherlock: It's sort of like the hookers; it's never come up before. But I have a feeling he'll make me pay for it.

Craig: [Stage whisper.] You don't seem very afraid.

Sherlock: [Picks up his mug and takes a sip, raising his eyebrows at Craig. There is a long pause.] Perhaps not.

Craig: [Laughing.] All right, well, we're out of time. Do you want a piece of fruit, or guess what's in my box?

Sherlock: I think the fruit is a little too personal.

[Audience laughs.]

Craig: Or, we could do an awkward pause.

Sherlock: Oh, yes, I'm marvellous at those.

Craig: Shall we just start then?

Sherlock: I suppose.

[Craig leans forward, then looks away. Sherlock keeps looking at him, and slowly crosses his legs at the knee. Craig looks at Sherlock's legs, then at his face, and then away again. Sherlock glances at Geoff, clears his throat, and re-crosses his legs. Craig looks at Geoff and laughs.]

Craig: Sherlock Holmes, everybody!

[The audience cheers as Sherlock and Craig shake hands.]


End file.
